ReInventYourself

Skills Development

Think of a time when you had that “I can do anything. Nothing can stop me,” feeling. Rate your energy level from 1-10. Now think of something (or someone) that is annoying you or that you are putting up with or tolerating. Rate your energy level again from l 1-10. What is the difference?

When we put up with or tolerate something that bothers us, we are letting our life energy drain. When we hold onto life “clutter” (and by clutter I mean anything that is unfinished, no longer used, unresolved, annoying, tolerated or disorganized) we get stuck, bored and discouraged. Some examples of energy drainers are: a garage full of junk and unused “stuff”, someone that regularly calls during dinner, an unspoken “I’m sorry,” a job change or raise that hasn’t been asked for, a closet stuffed with clothes that haven’t been worn for a year, an acquaintance who only calls when he needs a favor, a cell phone with a weak signal, a stack of papers to be filed or pitched, a rattle in the car engine, overloaded voice mail or email inbox.

Each annoyance or toleration robs us of our energy. It zaps enjoyment out of life. Anything that bothers us is preventing us from realizing our full capability and potential. We have a choice. We can either handle our energy drainers or honestly admit we simply aren’t going to do anything about them. When we decide not do anything about the annoyance, it is important to let it go. Admitting we are letting an annoyance go releases its “hold” on us. Every single annoyance that is eliminated restores energy. Eliminating annoyances does not have to be related to a particular goal or getting what we really want. Eliminating annoyances, our physical and emotional clutter, is about creating space for new and desirable things to come into our lives.

Recruiting a friend to help us eliminate annoyances keeps us accountable. This makes the task less daunting, even fun. For example, ask a friend to role play asking a boss for a raise or promotion. If you really dislike a task, consider “switching annoyances” with a friend (“I’ll weed your garden if you clean out my garage”). If you are overwhelmed by the size of the whole task, break it into manageable pieces, e.g., just go through the unworn shoes in your closet today; next week, take on the business outfits; then the casual clothing, and so on.

Activity
1. Quickly brainstorm 100 things that are annoying or bothering you, things that you are tolerating.
2. Pick 10 that you can handle TODAY.
3. Celebrate and treat yourself.
4. Pick the 10 that you can handle by next week.
5. Celebrate and treat yourself.
6. Separate the other 80 into 3 categories.
7. Mark each annoyance as a BIG, MEDIUM or SMALL annoyance.
8. Keep chipping away at the small annoyances to build confidence and momentum.
9. Take on the medium or big annoyances one by one. Ask for help when you need it.
10. If you are afraid to talk to someone about an annoyance (e.g., saying no to an invitation, asking for a raise) role play with someone you trust or practice in front of the mirror.
11. Admit which annoyances that you know you will do nothing about. Tear it up or scratch it from your list. Make a conscious decision to let it go as an annoyance.
12. Celebrate and treat yourself.

It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out - it is the grain in your shoe.
Robert Service

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